The Story You Tell: How Narrative Therapy Unlocks Healing and Growth
From Character to Author
Deciding to come to therapy is often preceded by a desire for change, a hope for understanding, and a need to feel better. While there are many modalities informing how therapists work, one approach in particular invites us to explore therapy - and ourselves - in an empowering, validating, and strengths-based way.
Narrative therapy is integrated in psychotherapy sessions as a tool for exploring our lives through a different - more objective and compassionate - lens. Whether you’re facing trauma, anxiety, or simply feeling stuck in life, this therapeutic approach empowers us to reshape your personal story and view your challenges from a place of strength and possibility… moving you from character to author. By recognizing that we have the power to change the stories we tell about ourselves, narrative therapy offers a path to healing, growth, and transformation.
What is Narrative Therapy?
At its core, narrative therapy is grounded in the idea that we all live within stories—stories we tell ourselves, stories told to us by others, messaging we observed as children, and stories created by the culture and society in which we exist. These narratives help us understand our experiences, define our identities, and guide our actions and decisions. They are often rooted in how we were raised, how we have been treated by peers, parents and authority figures, and how we have coped in order to make sense of it.
When we are unaware of these stories - how to frame them and how they are impacting our lives - we can find ourselves existing in problems-focused stories that are often internalized as Truth. Observing and exploring these stories is not meant to minimize the problems or to reframe the events that caused them. Rather, by learning how to notice our stories, we can make more room for narratives that allow for self-compassion and a self-authored sense of self.
Rather than focusing solely on pathology or diagnosis, narrative therapy looks at the whole person, acknowledging that people are not defined by their problems. It seeks to separate the person from the issue, allowing clients to view their challenges as external to themselves—"the problem is the problem," not "you are the problem." This framework helps reduce self-blame and shame while encouraging a more compassionate, flexible view of one’s life.
Key Concepts of Narrative Therapy
The Story as a Lens for Understanding Identity: Narrative therapy suggests that our identities are constructed through the stories we tell about ourselves. These stories can shape how we view ourselves, others, and the world. Through therapy, clients gain tools to help them observe when certain narratives are triggered - i.e., “I am not good enough.” By examining the origins and effects of these narratives, clients can create space to redefine their experiences - i.e., “when I feel overwhelmed and overstimulated, I feel out of control; feeling out of control triggers by “not good enough” story about myself.”
Externalization: One of the central techniques in narrative therapy is externalization—the process of viewing problems as separate from the person. For instance, if someone is struggling with anxiety, instead of saying "I am an anxious person," narrative therapy adjust the focus to exploring how "anxiety" shows up in their life. They might say, "Anxiety often shows up as a shadow, trying to control me." By personifying the problem, clients can gain more objectivity and control over how they engage with it. Clients can also try externalizing through parts language - for instance, “the anxious part of me is trying to do anything she can to feel in control.”
Re-authoring the Narrative: Narrative therapy encourages people to re-author their personal stories. This means looking at life events, challenges, and even trauma through a different lens—one that highlights personal agency, strength, and resilience. This process can involve identifying alternative stories or interpretations of past events, such as recognizing moments when the individual acted in ways that contradict the negative self-narrative. Re-authoring is not about toxic positivity or gaslighting yourself about what actually happened. Instead, it is a process aimed at providing you, the individual, agency and control over how experiences or events are acknowledged, opening up possibility with a lens of “how else do I want to cope with this?”
Unique Outcomes: Narrative therapy focuses on identifying unique outcomes, or moments when a person acted in a way that contradicts the dominant problem-saturated story. These moments often go unnoticed or dismissed, but they hold the key to alternative narratives. For example, someone struggling with depression might reflect on a time when they managed to get out of bed, go for a walk, or engage in a social activity—acts that contradict the belief that they are "too depressed" to do anything. These moments of agency are celebrated as signs of strength, resilience, and the potential for growth.
Community and Social Context: Narrative therapy acknowledges the importance of social context—the ways in which culture, family, and community shape the stories we tell about ourselves. Social expectations, stereotypes, and norms can reinforce limiting narratives, but these can also be challenged. The therapist may encourage clients to consider how their personal story fits within the broader societal narrative and explore ways to shift or reject harmful cultural norms. In doing so, clients may feel less isolated in their struggles and more connected to others who share similar experiences.
Why Narrative Therapy Works
One of the reasons narrative therapy is so effective is that it fosters a sense of empowerment. By recognizing that we have the ability to shape our own stories, individuals feel more in control of their lives and futures. This process is especially helpful for those dealing with trauma, anxiety, depression, relationship issues, or a sense of stuckness. Narrative therapy provides tools to rewrite limiting beliefs and foster a more positive, productive, and constructive self-narrative.
Additionally, narrative therapy’s emphasis on externalizing problems can reduce feelings of shame and guilt. When a person no longer sees themselves as the problem, they can more easily approach challenges with curiosity and openness.
The Power of Story
Narrative therapy is an invitation to see your life not as a series of obstacles or failures but as an evolving story filled with possibilities. It offers a framework taking control of not only how you tell your story, but how you interpret its meaning. By acknowledging the power of narrative and embracing the idea that we are the authors of our own stories, we can begin to reshape our lives in ways that are more aligned with our values and who we truly want to be.
Gray Therapy Group specializes in psychotherapy for women’s mental health, perinatal mental health, and maternal mental health. For more information about starting therapy with Gray Therapy Group or to request a free 15-minute consultation with Marissa Gray, LCSW, PMH-C email marissa@graytherapygroup.com. You can also visit our website at www.graytherapygroup.com or our Instagram page at @graytherapygroup.
